Being a mother is not always an easy ‘job’.
Pain is associated with the joys that come with the title ‘mom’…
When we open our hearts to a newborn baby, we become vulnerable to heartache.
Sacrifice begins, and never truly ends.
As the baby grows, into an active demanding toddler, we wonder if we will ever sleep.
Then toddler grows into a school aged child- and we wonder how we will survive the separation of child leaving us, if only for a few hours a day- and hold back the tears, adjusting to ‘sharing’ our child with the teacher…
Then teen years come- and for some, additional children may follow the one- so that the juggling of emotions become more skilled- how can we possibly love another child the same?
We realize we can’t. Our love for each is unique.
Many of the child-rearing milestones we reach come with a price…
They fall. They get hurt. They become sick. They get rebellious. They make mistakes. They grow into people.
You spend sleepless nights when they are late coming home, waiting for the phone to ring or the front door to squeak open… holding your breath until they are finally home.
They exhibit a strong will, sometimes a stubborn streak, and they go a different direction than the plan you envisioned for them…
You cry yourself to sleep many a night, until you realize it’s better to trust God for them, and then you spend much time on your knees, in prayer.
Then they grow up.
They leave for college, but you soon realize they never really come ‘home’ again.
You were not prepared for this.
Or were you preparing for this allaling, from the very beginning?
They move on and move out. They come home to ‘visit’ and leave again.
They get married. They move away. And they get busy living their life, independent and successful.
And as proud as you are of them, you miss them.
You miss the sounds of their little feet running up and down the stairs… you miss the slamming of doors and sweet hugs and goodnight kisses.
You miss them climbing in your lap, asking you to read the book ‘just one more time, mommy!’
You miss the walks in the parks, the swings and the slides. You miss their mastering accomplishments, beaming with pride.
You miss cheering for them at soccer games, encouraging them at cross country meets.
You miss the squeaky missed notes of instruments & voice while rehearsing a song, and applauding them at band concerts and choral concerts.
You miss all of their friends coming by the house, some staying overnights…
You find yourself adjusting from a full, boisterous house of five + to a quiet home of two…
And then somehow, you adjust again to how it all began…just the two of you, only different.
Part of yourself is no longer nearby.
But the joys of motherhood, with all the heartaches, is only one part of my life, indescribable.
I come to realize that motherhood IS joy. Joy is a state of being, not a feeling.
Joy doesn’t change because if our emotions, or circumstances.
Being a mother, with all the hurts, and fears, brings indescribable joy.
A joy that is not to be wasted. A joy that is a privilege and a cause for praise.
I have dear friends who long for this experience & my heart aches for them. I pray for them, and try not to take my blessings for granted.
I am far away from being an expert, or a ‘perfect’ Mom. I have made many mistakes as a mother, tried to ‘figure it all out’ while raising our three, while trying to figure out life in general.
Not easy. But- I have come to realize, as imperfect as I am, that I was the ‘perfect choice’ as mother to my three, because you know why?
Because God chose me.
THAT is the main thing I’ve never figured out-
God, You have given me the absolute BEST gift ever- of being chosen to be the mother of Douglas Roundy Jr, Helen Roundy and Morganne Skinner, and now You’ve given me another son, through marriage, Asa Skinner.
I can’t comprehend the love of God, in that He blessed me, undeserving me, to marry my high school sweetheart, Doug Roundy…
Or how God blessed us to grow an amazing family, with each of our quirks, and shortcomings, yet also with each of our unique talents and abilities, and hearts desires.
God, You somehow created us imperfect people perfectly, and formed us together into a family, to do life together.
It’s part of Your perfect plan, even though in part, we don’t really understand.
As Mothers Day 2017 comes to a close, I ponder all the myriads of emotions, and memories collectively over the years of being a mother- and I say Thank You God, for choosing me for the best ‘job.’
The best ‘job’ in all the world, is being chosen by God to mother my children, the 3 +1.
As a mother, I’ve learned what unconditional love looks like.
It’s the picture of God’s love.
It endures with patience and serenity, its being kind and thoughtful.
Unconditional love is not being jealous or envious; does not brag and is not proud or arrogant.
It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked nor overly sensitive and easily angered.
Unconditional love does not take into account a wrong endured.
It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth when right and truth prevail.
Unconditional love bears all things regardless of what comes, believes all things, looking for the best in each one.
Unconditional love hopes all things-remaining steadfast during difficult times, endures all things without weakening.
Unconditional love never fails, it never fades nor ends.